The topic of mental resilience has long been one that strongly resonates with our listeners and ranks among the most-watched of our podcasts. No wonder – psychological resilience, the ability to cope with stress, anxiety, and difficult or unexpected life situations, is more important today than ever before. That’s why we’ve invited Radim Valigura to the studio for the third time – a mental coach who has been focusing on this topic už for over 20 years.
We need mental resilience now more than ever. But how do we develop it in a world that constantly tests us? How do we manage inner conflicts, challenging life phases, and social pressure without losing ourselves?
Mental resilience is not just about gritting your teeth. On the contrary – it’s a very complex ability that includes self-awareness – recognizing your limits, needs, and emotions, resisting societal pressure and expectations, finding inner sources of stability, working with the mind, maintaining mental hygiene, and having the ability to rest and regenerate. In today’s episode, we’ll focus on how to build this internal stability. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety or just curious about how to stay grounded in psychologically demanding times, we believe today’s conversation will offer valuable insights and practical tips.
Radim Valigura – mental trainer, consultant, and coach to top executives and athletes. He has coached elite tennis players in Switzerland, including the tennis legend Martina Hingis. His book *Mental Resilience*, written in a highly engaging style, provides valuable advice on how to handle everyday stressful situations and optimize your performance.
Podcast #44 in Glance
→ How to deal with unexpected situations
→ How mental resilience can be defined
→ Various approaches to personal growth
→ Behavior patterns: conscious and unconscious mechanisms must be reprogrammed at their root
→ The ego and its influence on our behavior
→ Can we tell when it’s our experience speaking versus our ego?
→ Focusing on external matters can be a way to escape what we feel inside
→ Vital energy stems from continuous personal development
You can find all Trime Podcast episodes on YouTube.
Podcast Transcript:
[00:00:10] Michal: Hello, and welcome to another, this time non-nutrition episode of our Trime Podcast. Next to me is a special guest – Jakub, today in the role of host. Hi, Jakub.
[00:00:21] Jakub: Hi, hello.
[00:00:22] Michal: And sitting across from me – for the third time, and once again after a year – is Radim Valigura. Hi, Radim.
[00:00:28] Radim: Hi, good afternoon. I’m looking forward to the conversation.
[00:00:31] Michal: We’re meeting again after a year because we didn’t manage to cover everything last time. Maybe I’ll start right away – we were chatting outside, because we found out we’d booked the studio at the same time as another podcast was scheduled. And that kind of thing happens quite a lot – in everyday or work life – when I’ve got something lined up and someone throws a wrench in the works. Some people collapse, get angry. Others stay totally calm. What are the principles behind that? How can we deal with it? You work with mental resilience. So – what practical advice can help in moments like this?
[00:02:56] Radim: If only it were always like that. No, no, of course not. That's what life is about. Life is about facing everyday situations with the least amount of effort and the most joy possible, so that they bring continuous growth and you can enjoy the ride. Of course, it happens to me too. When I'm in tune, I perceive it more. When I'm less tuned in, I get angry like anyone else. So it's about awareness, being present. When something happens, realizing that I always have a choice. And that's a lifelong training – a never-ending story.
[00:03:45] Michal: So it's about the speed of my reaction? That I don't dwell on what I can't influence – it just is – and instead of two minutes of complaining, I tell myself, "I'll give it fifteen seconds and then let it go."
[00:04:03] Radim: Exactly. Balance – or stress – can't be maintained; it can only be regained. The more you work on yourself, the more you understand these things, understand why they're happening, and understand how everything works, the quicker you return to conscious choice. You realize: "Aha, this is happening – can I influence it? Can’t I?" You evaluate the situation. And when you let go of the inner grip, intuition, insight, and maturity will guide you on what to do. So if I'm answering the question – that's how I see it.
[00:04:48] Michal: Yeah, that makes sense. How do you view the concept of "mental resilience" today – something you focus on? Has your perspective changed since last time?
[00:05:02] Radim: Good question. Things always change. How would I define mental resilience today? How has that definition evolved since we sat down together last year... It reminds me of a quote from C. G. Jung: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” When a person understands what's happening to them, they have an answer and consciously understand it, they become responsible. They know why it's happening, they understand it, and they can respond constructively. If I don’t have the answer, I respond constructively only when I obtain it. That’s how I’d define it today.
[00:06:08] Michal: Does that also include happiness? Someone might say, "He just got lucky."
[00:06:16] Radim: Luck favors the prepared. We're back to attention. I can’t control everything, but I can control my attitude. Energy isn't good or bad – it's a dynamic force. We can look at it through quantum physics, spirituality, or common sense. But our attitude toward what happens determines whether we perceive it as positive or negative. If I feel like something is happening *against* me, I perceive it as negative. But if I've been thinking for a while about leaving a job because I’m not growing – but I like the team and don't want to leave – and then I get fired, it feels like liberation. I see it as positive. However, if I love the job and can’t imagine losing it, and still get fired – it’s negative. Context determines it. And the breadth of my awareness within that context determines how I interpret it and what it brings me.
[00:08:13] Michal: That makes sense to me. I’ve been discussing this with a lot of people lately — about where they’re heading in their careers and so on. It’s interesting – you meet someone and they sort of know where they’re going, know what they enjoy, know whether they prioritize money and don’t care much about meaning. Others, on the other hand, need a sense of purpose – they don’t care about money. And then there are people — friends, right — and they keep dealing with the same stuff over and over. You meet them a year later, and it’s the same topics. This sucks, that sucks – again and again. Why is that? Why do some people seem to have work mostly figured out, aren’t searching, have a clear direction or at least some idea of what they want to do, and others seem to just drift? Career, especially today when the world is changing so fast, really affects people’s mental health. Mainly because we spend such a huge portion of our day at work. And I feel more and more that young people primarily care about purpose. We're lucky in our company that people want to work with us – I hope they listen to this and that we keep that up. But what I see is that they’re not coming just for the paycheck. Whether it’s for the team or how we do things – that it has meaning. Do you have any advice or insight on that? Because often, when my friends are struggling again, dissatisfied, it seems like they're always chasing money and don’t really know what they want to do.
[00:10:08] Radim: They’re just lost.
[00:10:10] Michal: Yeah, it's a struggle. Hard to put into words, that’s why I’m being long-winded.
[00:10:13] Radim: Sure, it keeps coming up. What I hear is really a person who – to put it simply – lacks connection with themselves. What does that mean? You can call it being connected to yourself, or if we take it a level deeper – being connected to your inner self, to your soul. The soul communicates quietly and calmly. When we don’t listen, it speaks loudly – through the body. Usually in the form of pain or illness. People who aren’t in touch with their soul can’t hear it, because they’re always on the move. And that constant seeking keeps them restless – and therefore unable to hear. They usually hit a wall. They crash. And when they’re coming back from it, they have to ground themselves – that’s the presence again. The pain or illness becomes a chance to tune back into their soul and figure out the next direction. But it’s a very complex topic, and I’m curious if we’ll get to it today. In today’s world, full of conflicting information, a person has to work extremely hard on themselves – on their inner environment, on their ego. So that their true self can speak, guide them, show the way, and help them face the distorted image that today’s society presents to us.
[00:12:32] Michal: I bet you’ve seen that in nutrition, right?
[00:12:39] Jakub: When I worked with clients – yes. I’m thinking about how good this is to listen to, and it’s bringing up lots of questions. First of all – it can be really hard to even realize that it applies to you. If you’re not trained... How can you even identify it?
[00:12:54] Radim: Identify what?
[00:12:56] Jakub: Identify that the problem concerns you in the first place, so you can even start looking for a solution. When you're constantly blaming externalities — a bad boss, lack of talent, bad circumstances. But often it’s simply because you don’t even have the tools to describe your situation or know what to do about it.
[00:13:24] Radim: And that’s the work on yourself.
[00:13:25] Jakub: And that’s what you actually do. If you can think of a specific example...
[00:13:34] Radim: I’m sure I can think of one.
[00:13:37] Jakub: You have so many interesting stories, and the best way is to show it through a real case you’ve dealt with. These stories are fascinating.
[00:13:48] Radim: Let me give an example. I have a colleague who comes to me for mentoring. A very educated guy, with a good trajectory. But things in the external world still don’t work for him — it’s like there’s no demand for his services. We discuss what he should do to become sought after when he knows what he offers. And we arrive at the question of what the external interest gives him. When I ask how he feels when people are interested in him, he lights up: "Then I have so much to offer, I help people, I feel fulfilled." And I tell him: "Okay, so if you feel fulfilled when people are interested in you, then it’s also true the other way around – if you feel fulfilled, people will be interested in you?" And he says: "Yeah, actually, yes." So the goal isn’t to do everything to generate external interest, but to find out what fulfills you even when there’s no interest from outside. At that moment, you start focusing on yourself. And when you know what fulfills you, you won’t chase the interest — it’ll come to you. Why chase butterflies out there? Build a garden, and they’ll come. So my question is: What fulfills you? And that person begins to reflect, to figure out what makes sense to them, and once they start doing that, interest from the external world starts to come. Maybe I’m not being entirely specific, but I think the principle is clear, right?
[00:16:16] Michal: Yeah, yeah. Maybe I’ll ask something — like about career. Is it that the person is going in circles and knows they’ll be dealing with the same thing ten years from now? Every year the same. Is it that they have some personal issue, like in your example, and that’s why it keeps happening to them?
[00:16:42] Radim: And that’s exactly about how we relate to our unconscious. We have certain behavior patterns. We only act consciously about five percent of the time. When I say something here, you’re listening, but at the same time, you’re automatically recalling something from your own life, thinking about how to respond, what to ask, who it reminds you of. And in that moment, you’re already in your unconscious. You’re sitting here, looking at me, but your thoughts are elsewhere — in a story. And that’s normal human functioning. We think, but that doesn’t mean we stop acting. That action is carried out by the unconscious. And the unconscious is made up of our patterns, our upbringing, our genetic heritage from our parents. And it’s what determines how we live. If we have a certain pattern in us and keep falling into it, the same things happen to us. We say: "It happened again, I got fooled again." Because our unconscious led us there again. We haven’t brought it to consciousness. We’re just spinning in it. And that’s a programming that needs to be addressed where it originated — in childhood, adolescence, after birth. Sometimes we inherit it, it could be something that happened to our mother, our grandmother. And here we get into sensitive territory. People who think purely in material terms throw this into the esoteric bin — and for them, the discussion ends there.
[00:19:02] Jakub: Yeah, totally.
[00:19:02] Radim: Just like with politics — when someone doesn’t understand it, they say: "That’s politics," or: "That’s woo-woo."
[00:19:09] Michal: That’s a good one. And about ego — you mentioned it. How much is it about the fact that even a lot of smart people have strong opinions on everything, and it’s actually their ego that limits them?
[00:19:32] Radim: That immediately brings to mind a quote... I’m not big on quotes, but one just popped in...
[00:19:40] Michal: That’s from writing your book, you know, you end up quoting a lot.
[00:19:42] Radim: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that one’s not actually in the book. I think it was Tolstoy. It goes something like: even the most difficult concept can be explained to a simple-minded person if they haven’t yet formed an opinion about it. But even the simplest concept can’t be explained to the most intelligent person if they are convinced they already know how it is and have formed a fixed opinion. And that’s the ego. Right, because obviously – ego is a common term, many people use it. But if you ask those people: "What is ego?", no one gives an answer. Everyone has their own idea. Maybe there isn’t even one right answer, because it’s something that belongs to the subtle level. But yes, ego is what stands behind all our actions. If there were no ego, there would be no emotions. We wouldn’t strive for anything, we wouldn’t be able to function in this world.
[00:20:52] Michal: What does it mean when people say: "I’ve dealt with my ego," or "You haven’t dealt with your ego?"
[00:20:57] Radim: Sure. Dealing with ego is a lifelong process — if we stay within this life. Ego is a structure of consciousness connected to character, and that is expressed through our personality. That means character is a sort of outer expression. Thanks to ego, we’re able to function in the material world because ego is tied to matter, to our body. And that’s the duality that many philosophies talk about. When ego arises in us, a structure of consciousness with attached attitudes, beliefs, and the sense that we know exactly how things should be — if ego becomes larger than us and controls us, it messes with our life. But otherwise, it’s a very important form of energy.
[00:22:02] Michal: Maybe I’ll ask you something personal. Sometimes I feel like my opinions are too strong, too definite. How do I know when I’ve crossed the line? And when is it justified — because I’ve lived through it? How do I know I’m not lying to myself?
[00:22:28] Radim: Interesting question. We can call it constructive self-questioning. That means learning to question yourself – but not in a way that puts yourself down. More like asking yourself whether you’re really that sure it is the way you think it is. For example: you ask someone, "Are you sure it’s like that?" – "Yeah, one hundred percent." – "Are you really sure?" – "Yes." – "Really?" – "Yes." And if you ask a few more times, maybe they’ll start to reflect. The point is, what’s your intention in the conversation — are you trying to prove your point, or are you looking for a real dialogue? I think the energy between us here is that we’re not trying to prove we’re right. In my podcast, I always include a disclaimer — I speak for myself, I share my opinions and experiences. And whoever’s listening, let them take from it what they want. I once heard a nice comparison — when you look at the brain in cross-section, like at the Bodies exhibit, one slice looks different than the next. There are many perspectives. And when you realize that, you can engage in constructive self-questioning and seek the truth as best you can grasp it in that moment.
[00:24:39] Michal: When I don't have someone to challenge me – like a friend or a therapist – then I try to challenge myself.
[00:24:47] Radim: Sure.
[00:24:50] Michal: Which means you already have to be on a certain level to even allow yourself that.
[00:24:51] Radim: Yeah. And if we look at it structurally – there are people who like talking to themselves. For example, when they’re driving alone. You can tell by the way they come across. These people need to speak out loud – for the energy to go out through the mouth and come back through the ears. I'm sure it's happened to you – you’re telling someone something, wanting their opinion, but as you’re formulating it, you actually answer it yourself. And then you don’t even need their input. You just feel awkward saying, “Hey, you don’t have to answer anymore, I’ve figured it out.” That person served as a “sounding board,” someone you told it out loud to. The energy went out, came back through the senses, and that mental shift happened in the brain. That’s how you clarify things. And now I don’t even remember what I was answering – I kind of got lost.
[00:25:59] Michal: Now we’ve kind of...
[00:26:01] Jakub: Got absorbed in it.
What does it mean to have a resolved ego?
[00:26:02] Michal: I get it, but maybe you still haven’t answered me – what does it actually mean to have a resolved ego? Do you have a take on that?
[00:26:12] Radim: “Resolved ego” – that sounds kind of funny to me, because I often hear people say they’ve resolved their ego. I say: ego is for life. I don’t think you can really resolve it. You can get it under control by training – being present with yourself, living authentically, working on yourself. Then you can recognize when it's your ego speaking and when it’s your essence – your soul. But if your ego were fully resolved, then you’d have no reason to be here anymore. That’s why I don’t believe it’s possible.
[00:27:12] Michal: So to control it to the point where... I don’t know. I can’t think of a better example than people who always need to show off their latest car and stuff. That’s that material thing... is that what we’re talking about or not really? Is that unrelated?
[00:27:28] Radim: Those are patterns, of course. Again – the external world brings us some internal state, some kind of energy. Like I said in that example – when my attention is focused on the external image, on what’s out there, then something automatically happens out there and it creates a certain state inside me. I start feeling a certain way. And the moment I have a fancy car and get admiration, I feel seen, appreciated, irreplaceable, important... then if I don’t have the car, I won’t feel those things. And so I have to chase those cars or other external drivers to have those feelings. But when I work on myself and I can keep those feelings even without external stimuli, then I can buy any car I want – not for the feeling, but because I want it. It’s a choice. Otherwise, I’m dependent. People who constantly chase success are basically avoiding failure. And they’re often people who learned in childhood that they only get love from their parents if they “perform” – if they achieve something. They’re only worthy if they accomplish things. And if they accept that model, then even as adults they look for love through success. A lot of people live by this model today. And of course, it’s passed down – then they automatically pass it on to their children. It’s simply a model.
[00:29:39] Michal: So we’re back to work, career, and so on. I still keep thinking about this question – some people say, “don’t worry about money at all, what matters is doing something meaningful.” And then there are others who are totally satisfied just chasing money. But when you ask them if they’d still do it if money didn’t exist, they say they’d quit the next day. So what’s right or wrong? I know you can’t say definitively, but what’s your take?
[00:30:14] Radim: I don’t know if we talked about this last time, but I said that where I’ve arrived today – how I see it – the purpose of our striving should be development. Constant development. The Bible says the purpose of life is understanding. And when I’m developing, I can’t do anything wrong – I can see growth in everything. If this is my core abstract goal, then I have to align my identity with it. If I want to be an expert in my field, that means I want to keep improving. Just like you at Trime strive to stay at the top, follow trends, gain knowledge. If I do it authentically and genuinely, I become an expert. And that leads to other activities – publishing, podcasts, books, helping clients. When you do it well and are aligned like this, you get better. And the more you improve, the more people know about you, buy your products – you grow. You develop. And with that comes income, recognition, attention. But all of that is the result of development, which you control. Development brings life energy. In other words – what doesn’t grow, dies. And when someone stops growing, their channel for life energy closes – I said that last time too. And if you want to handle today’s world – overwhelmed with information, change, where things that used to make sense no longer do – if we try to deal with it purely rationally, we’ll blow a fuse. And a lot of people are blowing fuses. That’s why we need to expand our thinking, our approach, our reach – and that goes beyond rationality.
[00:33:25] Michal: Yeah, so it’s really about general development. I always try to make it more digestible and oversimplify – give a guide for someone who’s not in it. That’s important. Like with tech, AI – we see it with our parents. Some don’t want to bother with new things, and it gets worse with age. Young people usually handle new trends faster. And what about people who say “I’m going to lose my job, it’s repetitive, in five years it’ll be gone”? And they know what’s coming will be as common as the internet or computers in ten years. So either they jump on, or they don’t.
[00:34:25] Radim: And again we’re back to change. Stress begins with resistance. When I see what’s coming as a threat, of course I reject it. And I try to avoid it, because nobody wants to be threatened.
[00:34:40] Michal: That’s like... Jakub always with some tech thing.
[00:34:43] Radim: And at that moment I reject it. And that makes me resistant, rigid. If someone’s goal is development, then it’s a growth opportunity. But to accept it, we need to be flexible. And learning – that takes energy. Like you said – AI will replace a lot of junior positions. For example, in the consulting field I’m in, a senior person is someone who’s walked the path. They have experience, insight, best practices as they say. Juniors don’t. The difference between knowledge and skill is that skill is applied knowledge. In other words – you can learn science, but you learn a craft only by doing it. And if you have a senior who knows everything, and juniors who only bring knowledge, they’re going to struggle. Because AI can replace that. One of my clients who works with a consulting firm said, “I get information from them that I could just Google.” And that’s the moment when AI replaces humans. But information needs to be delivered with a certain energy to be effective. And AI can’t do that – because AI doesn’t feel. A person is a living being who feels. You can have perfect knowledge, but the skill is using it at the right time, in the right place, to achieve the goal. You can be an athlete who knows how to kick, pass, shoot – but every situation is different, every opponent is different. And when you’re facing them, you have to intuitively evaluate whether to pass or shoot. And AI can’t do that. Only a living being can – one that’s connected and drawing on life energy.
[00:38:14] Michal: Like you said at the beginning, it’s about acceptance. So if I know I’m the kind of person – or maybe not me specifically – but let’s say someone who resists new things, resists change... then it’s about understanding yourself. And again – that’s mine to own.
[00:38:37] Radim: Right, and now comes the question. Because if we add some psychological aspect, people resist change... maybe due to self-confidence. Some people have self-confidence naturally. You can tell by certain features – it’s written in their face. If you know where to look, you can see if someone has innate self-confidence or not. When someone has natural self-confidence, it’s encoded in their cells that when a new situation comes, they’ll somehow handle it. These are the people who stay calm in new situations, seem composed, often inspire trust. But then there are people who don’t have that confidence naturally. And they have to learn it. Experience teaches them. When they’ve faced a situation multiple times and know how it works, they know what to do, they follow the method. That lets them rationally explain it and handle the situation, because they’ve done it before. But everything has pros and cons. People with innate confidence handle new situations well, but their weakness or challenge is something else.
[00:40:13] Jakub: They might die faster.
[00:40:15] Radim: Exactly.
[00:40:16] Jakub: They might be confident enough to jump, and the train’s there before they think.
[00:40:19] Radim: That means underestimating.
[00:40:21] Jakub: Totally.
[00:40:21] Radim: They tend to underestimate. And those who don't have innate self-confidence are cautious – and that can often save their lives. They may experience more stress, but they’ll be extremely well-prepared. When I meet such a person, I know they’ve prepared intensely for our meeting – looked up information, analyzed details, and so on.
[00:40:52] Jakub: Exactly. I’ve been listening the whole time and I wanted to challenge you – what’s right and what’s wrong. And basically, it turns out that we’re talking about a certain degree. If you identify as someone who is extremely confident – it’s part of your head’s morphology – then your advice is: occasionally check if it’s justified. Ask yourself four times, and maybe you’ll realize you should tone it down. These are the people who say, “No problem,” float on the surface, and then are surprised that things aren’t so simple. The other extreme are those who are extremely prepared but never feel prepared enough. And your coaching advice for them is: loosen the reins a bit. It’s always about – and that’s why I asked at the beginning – that in my opinion, the hardest part is identifying it in the first place. If you haven’t been trained, your parents didn’t guide you, and you don’t know about it, then your attention may be directed somewhere completely different, and it won’t even occur to you. So, you first need to determine – I don’t know what you’d call it, maybe a personality profile. I only discovered this in myself a few years ago, even though I had operated that way for forty years. In some ways, it helped me, but in others, it limited me immensely. And that’s a painful realization – that I could have figured it out much earlier. It’s interesting. And I don’t know why it is that way. I don’t know how things work on this planet. I don’t know what would have happened if I had flipped to the opposite extreme – maybe I wouldn’t be here. So, I think what I’m arriving at is that the key is to operate within certain boundaries of balance. Just like you talk about and demonstrate in your courses with the sword balancing exercise.
[00:42:42] Radim: Yes, the balancing. And that’s exactly the unconscious – it’s the process of making the unconscious conscious. Because when I get to know myself – and now we’re going deep – this isn’t even typology, this is genetics. What I’m specifically talking about is kinesiology, specifically One Brain kinesiology, which teaches this kind of education. We’re talking about how when I know my strengths – let’s say my advantages and challenges – and understand why I behave one way in certain situations and instinctively another in others, I’m then quicker to assess what is the right option for me. A developmental one – I don’t say “right,” nothing is objectively right or wrong – but a developmental option versus a stress response.
[00:43:44] Jakub: I’m glad you said that here, because I don’t see it the way it might come across – that it’s wrong when someone is indecisive or something like that. What you said was beautiful – it’s a developmental option.
[00:43:58] Radim: Exactly, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And in a way, that’s the work with people.
[00:44:04] Jakub: Because if we were all confident, maybe the world wouldn’t even work. We also need people who lack confidence, but there has to be some standard somewhere.
[00:44:17] Radim: I would say that confidence and self-trust are two different things. I’m mainly talking about self-trust. Self-trust means believing in yourself in the given moment. And again, it’s about energy. When I face someone who doesn’t have the genetic makeup for self-assurance – or let’s say it differently – I know that when this person gets into a new situation, they start to panic. An inner hysteria enters them, because it’s a certain energetic level of feeling. And such a person needs structure, a guide to get out of it. That’s learned through life. I had a client like that, and even though he had no education in this area, he described exactly how he works with himself – how he’s able to rationalize it, step back. He couldn’t do it before, now he can. That’s experience, maturity. I told him, “Look, you’re talking now, and I have nothing to add.” Then I had another person in a high managerial position, leading hundreds of employees. At first glance, extremely self-assured. And do you know what his first sentence was? He said he didn’t trust himself at all. And when we started talking, I explained to him through a certain methodology that on the contrary, he has enormous self-trust. And he broke down in tears. Because the soul knows. But for some reason – upbringing or otherwise – he doesn’t allow himself to feel it. After this conversation, when it was explained to him rationally and practically through specific situations, he understood it was true. From the next day, he started functioning completely differently. Imagine living your whole life with one hand, and someone tells you that you have two. Suddenly, a completely different principle of functioning opens up, a completely different level of performance. These are – I call them – closed temporal bones. People have filters that prevent them from believing in themselves. They carry internalized systems from childhood. That’s the unconscious that controls their life. Then they ask: “Why is this happening to me?” Well, because of fate. But that fate is determined by these very things. They maneuver themselves into situations that are driven by their unconscious choices.
[00:47:45] Jakub: You probably have a lot of examples in sports. I could offer examples in dietetics. Or relationships. Can you relate this to something to make it more concrete? Whether it’s in relationships – which is very interesting – or in sports. You’ve worked with many athletes. How can that process be uncovered – how to discover self-trust?
[00:48:11] Radim: I understand. And let’s stay a bit longer with self-assurance. When you have a person who is naturally confident, but their upbringing told them they would never amount to anything, or they had a suppressive upbringing, they get used to working extremely hard. Because when it’s suppressed, they act like they’re not confident. They’re constantly preparing, looking for what might fail. And now we’re talking about the therapeutic level, because there is often a blocked emotion behind that – some emotional imprint from the past. When that emotion is released, access to the information is restored. Then the person realizes that instead of grinding – lifting extra weights or doing more laps – they can just sit down, visualize the match, or rest. Like we talked about before – muscles grow when resting. Sure, they need to be strained, but they also need regeneration. These people often don’t allow themselves to rest because they feel they won’t have control without work. We can present a specific situation – if you can offer something, I can comment on it.
[00:50:02] Jakub: Go ahead, feel free.
[00:50:04] Michal: Feel free to talk, it makes total sense to me. I have an example – a guy, big as a mountain, but he’s constantly dealing with the issue that he feels small. I’m standing next to him and wondering if he’s joking. But he’s really not joking. And even if he gained another ten kilos of muscle, he’d still feel the same.
[00:50:30] Radim: That’s exactly it, because it’s not about how you look on the outside. I once saw a comedy – I think it was called “I Am Pretty.” About a woman who hit her head and suddenly believes she’s beautiful. And she acts like a superstar – but very humbly – and has the highest opinion of herself. At first, people look at her like she’s crazy, but because she’s so convinced of her worth, she changes how others perceive her too. People start to see her the same way. Because what you feel inside projects outward. If I feel small inside, people will treat me as small too. Even if you’re big – if you say you’re small – they’ll accept you that way. That’s a huge topic. We could talk about this for hours. There are many genetic traits and variations. But that’s exactly the unconscious. When people start understanding themselves, why they behave a certain way, and have it explained rationally, they know what to do about it. And they have the necessary steps – what to do when...
[00:52:11] Jakub: Yeah, so I’ve seen a lot of confident people who, from my point of view, aren’t very skilled, but they put on a total show and enjoy the attention. Then I’ve seen people who truly have deep knowledge, but they almost don’t want to be heard – they speak toward the floor, avoid eye contact with the moderator, and so on. So your advice is basically that for those who need to be perfectly prepared, they need to actively learn to work with that by accepting that the preparation must eventually end. And they need to interrupt it and enjoy the performance. Because while the preparation gives them depth, it also holds them back a lot.
[00:52:55] Radim: There’s nothing that’s strictly right or wrong — and that’s exactly the point. The moment I know about myself, for example, that preparation is important to me, I can treat it like a warm-up. Like today, if someone wants to perform in sports and is educated or understands it — that is, they are aware — then of course they won’t go lift weights without warming up, because they know that without a warm-up, they might get injured. They might fail. And it’s the same here. Some people need more warm-up, some less. But the key thing is the choice. The key is to be self-aware and ask: am I truly prepared? Am I really underprepared, or can I just not help myself because I’m used to always preparing? Or is it the opposite — do I feel like I’ve got it under control, or am I just lazy to review it one more time? And the moment I say “no, I’m prepared enough, I’ve done this a dozen times,” I can afford to take the risk. That’s exactly what awareness is. That’s what we talked about — ego self-questioning.
[00:54:09] Michal: Is this awareness related to what you said — slowing down, like when muscles rest? Because I have this analogy: whenever I came up with a good idea for work, it was never at the computer. It was always in the forest, on a walk, and so on. So is it about riding the tram home and not looking at my phone, just observing for fifteen minutes? Basically learning to rest? Because today, as you said, life is demanding — and that’s probably one of the biggest challenges: social media.
[00:54:48] Radim: Attention. It’s about working with attention. So — when we walk today with our eyes and ears open, every stimulus requires attention. And the moment we give it our attention, it depends whether it grabs us emotionally. If it does, our attention flows there. And I always compare it to firewood: our energy is the fuel, the logs. Wherever we place our attention, we’re throwing those logs. Those are the little fires that burn when we feed them with logs.
[00:55:24] Jakub: For the last fifteen years, psychology has said — I don’t know, they tried to quantify it — that you have around sixty thousand thoughts per day, the vast majority of which are either in the past or the future. And a high percentage — over 80% — are negative. So if you don’t train your inner dialogue, which is now a big topic because life has become more demanding over the past 15 years, you’re in real trouble. So I guess attention, inner dialogue, and all those techniques... yeah, it’s all related.
[00:55:59] Radim: And now — one thing is that we have multiple senses, but we also perceive things vibrationally through the skin. It’s not just about not looking at billboards or phones. It’s also about, for example, sitting next to someone in a tram who’s devastated — and if I’m sensitive and my biofield isn’t closed off, I’ll automatically pick up that energy. Last time, I talked about telepathy — you clipped that and turned it into a Reels, and it got almost 200,000 views. Because nowadays, senses like telepathy or intuition seem abstract to many people who aren’t educated in it. But they’re not. These are things you can consciously work with.
[00:56:59] Michal: That’s actually the topic I want to ask about — it’s called “gut feeling,” or sixth sense. I recently read a book by Jeff Bezos, and he talked about how his most senior managers, way smarter than him, told him “don’t do this,” but he said, “look, I just had a gut feeling, I did it,” and later it turned out those were the key decisions. But for me, it’s hard to grasp, and sometimes I just feel — yeah, this is right, let’s go for it.
[00:57:36] Radim: And that’s trust — basically, that’s what you train. That trust in yourself. Whether I’m capable — now I’ll get a bit abstract — of communicating with my soul. And that’s exactly the feeling, how I interpret “gut feeling.” Because gut feeling is the soul speaking through the body. Through bodily sensations. And I register it. And the moment I register it and can take it into account — not that I switch off my brain, but I feel “this” — and I give it the same weight as logic, then it can really help me in many ways.
[00:58:24] Michal: This is actually super interesting because often smart people remain just smart. And the results come to those who, like you say, are more connected. So how do you actually train this?
[00:58:44] Radim: How do you train connection?
[00:58:46] Michal: I mean exactly that — everyone tells you “don’t do this,” and you know — I keep circling back to career stuff today, but for example in business — if I had listened to my parents, I’d be working in a corporation today. Or somewhere like that. Most of us probably would be.
[00:59:09] Radim: I don’t really know how to answer that. Or rather, I don’t know which path to take because — again, yeah…
[00:59:19] Michal: Some people just have it.
[00:59:20] Radim: There’s no one answer. That’s what’s being decided today. There are people who — when a new situation comes, like during COVID — some froze and waited for the world to return to normal. To go back to the way it was. And then there were people who realized the world would never be the same again. And they started pushing in a different direction, reorienting themselves. It’s really a divide — just yesterday a client told me: “Look, COVID was bad for many, but it really helped me.” Personally, it helped me a lot too. The fact that everything shut down and the noise outside calmed gave people a chance to focus inward. A concrete example — lots of people used to dress nicely because they were going out and wanted to look good. But once the outside world quieted down and there was nowhere to go, you either stayed in your bathrobe or dressed well because you wanted to feel good. Do you run because you want to look good, or because you want to feel good? Many people struggle with overeating, lacking discipline — they eat because they want to feel good. Or they eat because it’s mealtime and the goal is to eat. And that’s exactly it. When a person can tune out the external environment and create a safe space — I call it a “safe space” — then they can face their challenge. Like fasting. If you plan a fast, you announce it at home so no one cooks for you, tell people you’re not going out for lunch. You announce it everywhere, ask for space. And that way you create the conditions for your goal. But that’s one thing — a targeted effort. Now imagine doing that every day, creating space for yourself. So you can truly stay attuned to yourself.
[01:02:15] Jakub: So that you can actually hear yourself... Well, in dietetics, this is an extremely important topic. And it's sort of the ultimate goal I aim for – both for myself and my clients – though very few actually reach it. I always use the analogy because many clients want a precise manual, protocol, breakfast, lunch, dinner, portion sizes, micronutrients, you know, calculate nitrogen, everything. And there’s a huge misunderstanding in that. I usually compare it to breast milk, which is dynamic and constantly changes based on the infant’s needs. The opposite would be nutritionally defined liquid nutrition – or infant formula – which is always the same. You buy a can, and it contains exactly this amount of protein, this amount of minerals. You give it to the baby and, on paper, everything looks right. Now, we could argue that it's never really optimal, because I could design it better – me personally – but within the industrial context, it's averaged out pretty well. Still, it can never surpass the connection when the baby is in tune. In this case, it has no ego yet, it’s connected to the mother and it interacts, it responds. And breast milk is different at the beginning of feeding, in the middle, and at the end. And it even changes throughout circadian rhythms. And for adults, it works the same way, but you follow some dietary style, some routine, some idea of diet. Either you don’t care at all, or you're extremely strict and say you're vegan. But if you truly listened to your soul or your body, you’d be surprised that it’s completely different. You’d behave totally differently with food. So yes, in theory, it’s clear to us all, but try explaining it to someone who’s killing themselves with food, carrying fifty kilos of extra weight and unable to stop, can’t hear themselves... Or explain it to someone with bigorexia, who has twenty kilos of extra muscle and still feels small. As I said – we’re either in the past or the future, and now everyone emphasizes that we need to be bored, we need to reflect. So – back to the question: will there be some guidance on this topic in the book? Because I can picture a lot of people in my field who have all the information, the best instructions, yet they keep failing at dieting. And I know I can’t help them – the issue isn’t lack of information.
[01:04:55] Radim: In the book – I focus mainly... I consider myself a real methodologist, right? And since I work with clients both individually and in teams, and I do a lot – what I call – on-the-field work, meaning I’m very active in practice, the book is very practical, but it’s also about principles. Because I always believe that when a person understands the principle, they then understand the willpower. Or rather, their will grows – because willpower grows with the significance that the thing or situation has in our life. So the more I understand it in a broader context, the more significance it has for me – or it doesn’t. And if something holds meaning for me, then of course I have no issue with willpower. In other words – with discipline and so on. And what I hear here is a very principled matter. A good example comes to mind – many people fall into... let’s not say bad feelings... let’s say feelings of guilt – they’ve failed, again didn’t stick to it. They started a diet, started exercising, and now they’re starting over. Then their partner laughs at them, says: “You’re still talking about this, always starting over.” I often have to laugh – it reminds me of something. My wife says: “Radim, this is the third time this week you’ve said you’re starting to work out.” And each time I really started, and I’d say: “That’s great, because I’ve already worked out three times then.” So, I just mean to say – it’s not wrong. Because balance – focus – especially nowadays, can’t be maintained. It can only be re-found. Like that old story: “If I fall into a river, will I drown? No, you’ll only drown if you stay there.” Meaning, the moment you begin, you don’t need to endure. Whether you last or not... What’s important is to keep starting again. The more often you start, the more you’re actually sticking with it – in a way. And we’re talking about dynamics here. Another principle that comes to mind – the Chinese have a belief or a theory that breakfast can be medicine. And when I dug into why that is, I realized something. If you think logically – using common sense – when is the body most rested? In the morning. If you sleep well, and don’t have... let’s say, as my friend says – a dietetic error at night. Which was his excuse for not showing up in the morning because he got drunk the night before.
[01:07:52] Michal: I thought that was Jakub.
[01:07:58] Radim: Well, essentially – when you wake up in the morning, your body has the most energy. And if you give your body a healthy breakfast – and it doesn’t matter whether you’re knowledgeable, just give it something healthy – then your body, being the most rested and having the most strength, can also do the most with it. So if you give it a nutritious meal, the body can make the best use of it – send the nutrients where they’re needed because it has the energy. Give that same food in the evening, when your body is tired and depleted, and it won’t know what to do with it – it simply lacks the strength. So, you won’t burden it as much. If you have junk food in the morning – say, a cheat meal – people usually say: “Okay, have that coffee with milk, but only in the morning.” Or they say: “You can handle it in the morning. If you want something unhealthy, have it then.” Right – because the body is strongest in the morning, it can process it. But you definitely won’t help it by giving that junk food in the evening – you’ll only make it worse. And this is again a principle. When people – as you said – start perceiving circadian rhythms, those essential, foundational principles... The more you perceive them, the more you can stack on top of them exactly what suits you. That’s where we need to start. Because there are so many details that, if we don’t stick to the basic principles – which are universal, because they weren’t invented by humans, they were created by nature – then we’ll always just chase one chart here, one detail there... and never get a continuous process out of it.
[01:09:40] Michal: More and more we’re realizing — or I’m trying to convince Jakub, and he’s starting to see it too — that with his obsession to do everything perfectly, down to the last molecule... if most people just took care of the basics, they’d be totally fine. Whether it’s movement or basic micronutrients, protein, and so on. We often meet people obsessing over nootropics for the brain — and they don’t even have vitamin D, or haven’t taken a walk all day. Do you have a psychological perspective on that?
[01:10:25] Radim: A healthy mind in a healthy body. Quite simply. The moment you, as you say, stick to the basic principles using common sense, you create a base level of physiological energy. But taking good care of myself, eating perfectly, and exercising doesn't mean I won’t have a stressful life, won’t be able to leave an unhealthy relationship or job, or won’t wear myself out in another way. So for me, that’s one piece of the puzzle. Physiological energy is the foundation. But the other part – still the same energy – is tied to ego, emotions, the external world, and what happens on the subconscious level. And today, that’s just as important as physical care.
[01:11:29] Michal: It might soon even become more important.
[01:11:31] Radim: Exactly. Until recently, rationality was key, but I think that’s starting to shift.
[01:11:45] Michal: If my “head is in check,” I might be able to control myself not to overeat.
[01:11:50] Radim: Yes. Rationality is important, but I believe the future lies in understanding the other half of the brain. Being sensitive – consciously sensitive – to energy, and knowing how to manage it in a way that doesn’t harm us. So that we don’t go against ourselves.
[01:12:07] Michal: My question was, where should a person actually start when they want to solve a problem? Before I gave them Jakub’s number, I’d probably say: “Fix the basics, listen to our podcasts, do two tests – that’ll take a year – and then come back.” I assume you also wouldn’t immediately recommend a therapist. So where should people start when they want to grow?
[01:12:47] Radim: I don’t think there’s a universal answer to that. Everyone has their own path. One person hears a podcast, another meets a therapist, someone else reads a book. So my advice is: just start. As our mutual friend Petr Vakoč – still a professional cyclist, two-time Tour de France participant – once said when we were discussing something: “I walk out of my house in the morning knowing I need to ride 150 kilometers, but I don’t know whether to go left or right.” And I told him: “It doesn’t matter. Just start pedaling. After 10 kilometers, you’ll realize where you want to go – and those 10 kilometers were necessary to get there.” So: just start. Put in the energy. If you want to gain energy, you first have to expend some.
[01:14:27] Jakub: I agree that it can’t be generalized. I’ve had many clients who experience disappointment again and again trying to change their diet. Your advice is: fix the basics, then look for an expert – but even then, they may go through more disappointments, maybe even total burnout. For some people, the path might be the opposite: stop trying. And if they haven’t figured it out by now, maybe they never will.
[01:15:03] Radim: It comes down to attitude. I believe no one is a victim in terms of the soul. If someone doesn’t want to, then they don’t want to. It’s their choice, their life – no one can live it for them.
[01:15:42] Jakub: Right.
[01:15:42] Michal: That saying: “I am responsible for everything that happens to me.”
[01:15:53] Radim: It’s hard for people without a broader context to accept, but it’s true. Our brain is limited, so it may be hard to understand – but from my perspective, that’s just how it is.
[01:16:21] Michal: Speaking of navigating a world full of conflicting information... Our field is full of it. Vegans versus carnivores, and so on. What about parenting? In psychology, you often refer back to childhood – you’ve done it two or three times today. These days, there’s a trend of free-range parenting, preschools, and schools that emphasize creativity – versus structured systems. What’s your view? What’s right, what’s wrong? I’d like to talk about parents now.
[01:17:07] Radim: I have three kids myself, so I practice this every day. It’s trial and error. A theory works until it’s disproved by practice. In my opinion: any system is better than no system. But clinging to a system isn’t good either. It’s about working intuitively. One thing comes to mind that I often deal with in practice – many parents believe they should be united in their parenting. But this is often the root of insecurity in the child, who grows into an adult. That whole “Mom, support me,” or “Dad, we need to be on the same page”... That’s unnatural. It’s normal for parents to disagree, because they are different. And when they pretend to agree, they’re lying. They’re not authentic. The child feels it, even if they can’t consciously articulate it. On a soul level, they know. When parents “team up,” they form a majority – and the child ends up in an inauthentic system.
[01:18:27] Radim: The father might allow something – like staying up until eleven on the weekend. But he knows that the next day, the mother will be in charge. So at that moment, the mother’s rules apply. He says: “Samík, I would let you, I disagree with Mom right now. But since she’ll be taking care of you tomorrow, you’ll listen to her.” That way, he supports her but remains authentic. The child knows where they stand.
[01:19:50] Michal: So it’s clear. And if you didn’t stay authentic and followed the advice that parents must be united, what would happen?
[01:20:00] Radim: The child then learns that the system is superior to their intuition. They know Dad would allow it, but he pretends otherwise for Mom’s sake. So the child starts trusting Dad more than their own intuition. And because children are a “blank slate” to a certain age, what a close person says is sacred to them. The child has an inner feeling, but their closest people tell them it’s wrong. That reframes their view and undermines their self-confidence. Their trust in themselves.
[01:20:49] Michal: So that’s how programmed patterns are formed.
[01:20:52] Radim: Exactly. That’s a practical example. There are many more, of course, but this one is graspable and rational. Parents can test it for themselves.
[01:21:15] Michal: Now it feels like you’ve really summed it up. That advice always made sense to me – that parents must stick together. But if I didn’t know the context of inner blocks and all that, I wouldn’t have seen it differently.
[01:21:32] Radim: And that’s it – we’ve just brought it to consciousness. A lot of people learned something and just keep doing it. And if they happen to hear this podcast and it makes sense to them – I’m not saying it has to – but if it does, they can reflect on it. And if it resonates, they can change their approach. That supports the child’s self-confidence and healthy development. That’s my view.
[01:22:05] Michal: If someone found this discussion meaningful and wants to find you or take part in something, what can they do?
[01:22:13] Radim: They can read my book Mental Resilience – The Key to the Future. I’m working on a redesign with added illustrations of various exercises I use in live seminars. These seminars – mental resilience training in practice – are usually held for sports clubs or companies. But I often collaborate with people who want to organize one for their clients. Sometimes we host public events as well. Everything is on my website: radimvaligura.com.
[01:23:07] Michal: So whether I’m a company or an individual, I can contact you and get a reply?
[01:23:13] Radim: Hopefully – if I manage to respond.
[01:23:17] Michal: All right. Radim, thank you so much. And to all of you who listened this far, we really appreciate your feedback, comments, and suggestions for future episodes. And if you’re not already subscribed, make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel or follow us on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Thank you, take care. And thank you for being our guest.
[01:23:43] Radim: Thank you and have a nice evening.
[01:23:45] Michal: Take care, goodbye.
[01:23:46] Radim: Goodbye.
